"I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience."

"I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms."

"Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."

"Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."

"Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."

"It's best for employers that I not work with people."

"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

"Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."

" Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No Commitments."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

"Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job."

"Marital status: often. Children: various."

"Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. Could not work under those conditions."

"The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers."

"If it's against state law, it's generally considered a breach of Etiquette."

- Miss Manners